So I caved...
I'm only writing this because of this damn Salon.com article that guilted me into doing it:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/02/07/25_random/index.html
I have to admit, one of my secret pleasures over the last couple of month has been to read these damn posts. Notice though that this is posted on my blog and not on my Facebook page so as not to clog your news feed.
1. Let's start off with something a little less serious and a bit more off-beat: I cannot use a restroom in any type of establishment that sells anything without being guilted into buying something, no matter how useless that item may be. If I happen to be on a road trip where the only toilet for hundreds of miles is located in a store that sells carvings made from the stumps of redwood trees, I would be the proud owner a six foot tall carving of Scooby Doo upon exiting the establishment.
2. I used to want to be a journalist. No, not one of those broadcast news types - A PRINT journalist. I still fancy myself a writer. I even have multiple half finished novels that will most likely remain half finished until someone puts a gun to my head and forces me to finish.
3. Spawning from #2, I have an extremely short attention span - read as I get bored easily but not before going full bore into something that peaks my interest. My life is littered with the equipment of hobbies that I dove headfirst into and then dropped when the next shiny object caught my eye. This should help explain my warehouse of useless knowledge and why I may appear to many of you as the classic case of "Jack of All Trades, Master of None."
4. I can't give you a direct answer to anything. A simple "yes" or "no" is not sufficient in my mind. Some people attribute this to my Southern upbringing, others my political mindset. Some people find this fact amusing, others find it extremely annoying. I'll leave it at that.
5. I still sleep with my woobie. One of them has disintegrated into almost nothing but it's still there. Yes this translates into a slight problem sometimes...
6. I hate my job. No, really. I hate it with a passion but I'm good at it and so I keep on keeping on because I can collect a paycheck with minimal effort while still contributing more to my field than the majority of my coworkers. Someone once said told me that they thought the reason I dislike my job so much because I don't find it challenging but I don't think that's it at all. I have many theories as to why I hate it but I think I've repressed the true reason so far down in the depths of my psyche that it's completely lost to me now.
7. I love to cook. In fact, if I could start a business of my own, it would be a, surprise surprise, Asian fusion restaurant but in my unique Chinese-Southern style. Intrigued? Call an investor and we'll setup a tasting for you...
8. I'm a pretty lucky guy - that or, in the grand scheme of life, I have excellent timing. Whenever I have come to a crossroads in life, something has always presented itself so that I haven't had to face any type of extreme hardship. After high school when my parents and I were trying to figure out where I should go to college, scholarship money, that I probably didn't deserve, fell like manna from heaven. When I finished grad school with no plans in sight, someone reminded me that fellowship applications for a CDC program were due at the end of the week so I applied last minute and got accepted into the program. When the house I was renting last year was foreclosed on and I needed to be out within a week's time, I randomly found a new place and a moving company all on the first website I looked at.
9. Have you ever seen the movie "Good Luck Chuck" with Dane Cook? That's me. Seriously. Have a sister that wants to get married? After one date with me, the next guy that comes along will ask her to marry him.
10. I will always love the South. Even though it's a place that's small-minded and stuck in an ideological time warp that probably led to my miserable childhood, I will stand up for it with the ferocity of a Siberian tiger when some California hippie or self-righteous Rice Girl tries to talk shit about the place where I grew up.
11. When I was about 5 years old, a flight attendant mistook me for a little girl and my sister has always used that to annoy the piss out of me.
12. I'm probably the laziest person I know. One time, in college, I got a pledge to come over to my dorm room to change the TV channels for me not because it was some childish hazing thing that I could do, but because I was too lazy to go into the other room to find the remote control and my phone was closer and I didn't feel like getting off my couch.
13. I'm not as smart as people think I am. I simply standardize test well and in our society, somehow that is the measure by which we assign someone a level of intelligence. I like to think of it more as an extension of #8 or that I can bubble the dickens out of a Scantron with a high rate of accuracy. No more, no less.
14. I future project, a lot. This probably leads to my neuroticism but I've learned to embrace both.
15. I have a tendency to form close friendships with people that I essentially meet in passing and don't see for years but keep in close contact with over the phone. These people also usually live in different time zones and yet it always seems to work out. Although, I've often wondered if we lived in the same place, would we be as close? Not to be a cynic, but I don't think so.
16. I take the Type A personality to new levels. In fact, since I've started typing this, I've reordered my list numerous times to make it look a little more aesthetically pleasing.
17. I am obsessed with watches. I will spend an obscene amount of money on something that sits on my wrist and ticks. I don't like clocks so much, just watches. I used to be late all the time too - not to say that the two are related but in my weird way of thinking, I think they are. But I am proud to say that now that I'm older, I no longer run on Chinese time.
18. When it comes to social situations, I can't open to save my life. I can always jump into the middle of a conversation but when it comes to getting the ball rolling on my own, I make Ted Buckland look like a smooth operator.
19. I can hold a grudge until the end of time. I think it's something I inherited from my mother. It's actually become a pretty handy personality trait of mine. I can still name every single person that I feel that has wronged me in life, all the way back to elementary school, and what they did to me. I still fantasize that one day I will be in some sort of position of power of that individual and will stick it to them. Call it megalomania, or whatever you like, but if you piss me off, one day you're going to regret it if you don't apologize. Fucker.
20. I am a strong believer in karma. In fact, sometimes I wonder if I'm paying for something that I did in the past or that I'm just chitting up for the future. I really hope it's the latter but knowing myself, I'm sure it's just payback time.
21. Sometimes I wonder exactly how much my sister got the shaft growing up because I was born first. I think the numerous ways that I monumentally screwed up, in the eyes of my parents, caused her to miss out on some of the pleasures that I was afforded growing up (going to Europe after HS graduation, participating in LoveBoat, getting a car when I went off to college, to name a few) and also forced her into a life that was constantly being scrutinized by our parents so that she didn't end up the fuckup that I did. Sorry Cynthia. I know you hate me for it sometimes and this is just my acknowledgement of that fact.
22. I worry that I will have ugly children. I would rather my kids be dumb and hot than smart and fugly. I know that sounds awful but someone with good looks will have an easier time of things during that awkward mentally scarring period in life and be able to con his or her way through adulthood on those looks alone than that unfortunate looking smart kid that's always going to be the social outcast.
23. I've always joked that I'm whitewashed but lately I've been wondering if that's really such a good thing. The ironic thing is that I speak better Mandarin & Taiwanese and have a better grasp of the customs of my culture than most of those "hardcore" Chinese/Taiwanese kids that I've met. How can you call me whitewashed when you can't even speak a single dialect of Chinese and can't use your chopsticks properly. Ai-ya!
24. I look up to my little sister. Probably more than she realizes. But I'm not going to say why.
25. To close, something a little more light hearted and seasonally appropriate: I once showed a woman my junk for some really cool Mardi Gras beads.
posted by Mike at 7:00 PM
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